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Language Jokes

Two cops are hanging around on a corner in the former East Germany shortly after the Wall fell. Up ride two bicyclists from England, looking for directions.

"I don't speak German," one says to one of the cops, "Might you speak English?"
The cops shrug with incomprehension.
"Parlez vous francais," the biker says, non-plussed.
More shrugs.
"Parla Italiano?"
Shrugs
"Habla Espanol?"
Same thing. The guy even tries Portuguese and Latin, no luck.
Finally the bikers ride off, frustrated.
One cop looks at the other and says, "Hey, that guy spoke 6 languages!"
The first one shrugs one last time. "Yeah well, what good did it do him?"



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A Spanish speaking bandit held up a bank in Tucson. The sheriff and his deputy chased him. When they captured him, and the sheriff, who couldn't speak Spanish, asked him where he'd hidden the money. "No sé nada," he replied.

The sheriff put a gun to the bandit's head and said to his bi-lingual deputy: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell us where the money is right now, I'll blow his brains out."

Upon receiving the translation, the bandit became very animated. "¡Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadras hasta ese gran arbol: allí está el dinero."

The sheriff leaned forward. "Yeah? Well..?"

The deputy replied: "He says he wants to die like a man."



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Why French is better than sex

1.     You're never too old or too young to learn French
2.     French-fanatics don't make people uncomfortable
3.     It's OK to speak French anytime and anywhere
4.     You can speak French with as many people and as many times a day as you like
5.     Can't get arrested for speaking French with a minor
6.     Speaking French with lots of people at once is socially acceptable
7.     No risk of disease or pregnancy from speaking French
8.     You can speak French all day without getting really tired
9.     No next-day regrets about whom you spoke French with
10.     Speaking French is fun even if you have a headache 


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