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Language Jokes 5

Language Jokes
Nouns : Masculine or Feminine ; ))

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their English counterparts, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Confused, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?”
The French teacher wasn’t sure which gender it was, so she ivided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

 Teachers often use jokes in the ESL/EFL classroom to teach culture, grammar and vocabulary.
Here are some examples...

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. 
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5! 

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Why Do Language Learners Fail ?

Listening
Why do language learners fail ? Many people blame just to have inadequate natural abilities, intelligence, time or discipline. But these factors are not that much effecting someone when he/she is going to learn a new language.


1. Since everyone is speaking English or is goin to speak English why should I learn a foreign language ?

It is true that every non English speaking country is going to teach their people English at school or people are going to take a English course themselves in order to learn the International Language. But, this doesn't mean that all of them are able to speak the language well enough to communicate or to solve problems even handle negotiations. Non English speaking countries people are learning it in order to have a second language and to take advantage of it. Look from your point of view how fantastic it could be to speak with the person in front of you in his native language though he speaks English. Just consider all the advantages you can have : ease of mind, improved negotiations, comfortable travels, making friends, be "the person" in your community,...etc..

2. Language learning is difficult

It is obvious that learning a new language is difficult and it will be difficult since you are going to learn a new language and also a new culture. But don't be afraid that much, here are the hard parts of learning a new language :

a ) Learning grammar rules
b ) Memorizing vocabulary and conjunction
c ) Spelling rules and new alphabets
d ) Pronunciation of unfamiliar sounds

Don't "panic" none of these are necessary to learn a foreign language and thats why most people FAIL !!!!
Learning a new language depends on how much input you put at the beginning, it is a physical skill that can be learned with lots of input in the beginning stage and lots of output when you are ready to use it.

Think about babies, all new born babies learn their first language perfectly without ever reading a grammar book or taking a language course : ))))
You can do the same, the difficult part is to start to use it. Use it everyday don't worry about doing mistakes the rest comes by itself.

The difficulty of a language is mostly rated by how similar it is to your own native language. For example, Chinese is difficult for German people but not that much difficult for Japanese people. If you are going to learn your new language in the traditional way than "yes" similarity between two language will make it less difficult. The important point is to have a) much interest (to be eager) to learn a new language b) comprehensive input as possible.


3. No usage in daily life thats why I can never learn it effectively

Of course it will have many advantages to learn a foreign language where it is spoken, but it is not a condition to do it. According to many linguists, the key point in foreign language learning is "listening" in stead of speaking. This is a big advantage since you can listen to your new foreign language anytime and anywhere. Just imagine how fantastic it is to put as much input as you can through a media player wherever you are. And you can find very easy high-quality contents from everywhere.


AS YOU SEE, GEOGRAPHY  IS NOT A BARRIER TO LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE, GO FOR IT !!!


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Funny - German Coast Guard ; )))


A good "Foreign Language" knowledge can be that much important : ))

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